Storage Room

Storage room

Box

A tangle of chains and locks 
No light gets in

No darkness seeps out

Bulletproof, titanium 

No key to be found, no willing locksmith can open 

Storage room

Box

The only thing I posses inside an endless factory of thoughts

Hide the pain, hide the bitterness, hide the hate, hide the dissatisfaction, hide the madness 

These prisoners belong in the storage room

They belong in a box 

A box so dark, a box so tight

The only light that gets in will never feel right.

My shield, a badge of protection 

My wall of discretion 

Never look in, only look out

For the storage room will stay, it won’t open today

Don’t let them see the horror that hides inside

No one can understand the storage room, no one can crack it open

They crumble under its weight

So pack the storage room until it’s full, stack the demons in their tomb

Keep it together, keep it tight, make sure to lock them up night 

In the storage room box.

Book Review#1: Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn

If you have an appreciation for dark twisted family stories, then you will love Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn. Right from the very beginning Flynn sets the tone for the entire novel, the beginning starts out ominous and foreboding. Flynn gets readers hooked right from the very beginning.
Synopsis:
Camille Preaker is a haunted young woman who comes from a small town called Wind Gap, Missouri, that she hasn’t been back to in 8 years. She is a reporter for a small newspaper in Chicago. Fresh out of a psych hospital recovering from her self-abuse and disturbing childhood, she is assigned a case centered around two missing female children in her home town. Camille hasn’t been back since she left 8 years ago. She hadn’t wanted to deal with her neurotic mother and her spoiled doted upon 13 year old half-sister she barely knew. She returns back to Wind Gap and searches for the answers that everyone in town wanted to know. Who would take these innocent children, and are they still alive? 

“I think some women aren’t made to be mothers, and some women aren’t made to be daughters” -Camille, Sharp Objects

  With more than a few twists and turns, Flynn brings this roller coaster of a story to life. You will feel disturbed after reading it. This novel will haunt you and be on your mind days after you finish it. No one in this story is who they appear to be. 

  
    I don’t want to give too much about the story away, because I believe this mystery is worth solving for yourself. Head to your nearest Barnes and Noble, neighborhood bookstore, or download it onto your electronic book tablet right away before the book becomes a TV drama. You are in for one hell of a literary ride. Enjoy.

Bulletproof 

Try to tear me apart.

Try to shoot me down.

Try to pierce me in the heart.

The blood won’t drip.

The skin won’t break.

The lies you spoke didn’t shake me.

The love you showed didn’t make me.

Drag me to the ground,

Bruise my body.

Try and shoot.

I can’t die.

I’m bulletproof.

I wear this vest around my chest,

I have a wall around my heart.

Honey you could’ve never guessed I was this smart.

Laugh at me now because you won the battle, but I’ll be the one to win the war.

Load the gun.

Pull the trigger.

I dare you to try.

I won’t die.

I’m bulletproof.

I hope it wasn’t love

I hope it wasn’t love It can’t be

I couldn’t stand it

Love is so few, hate is so many

Can we only love one, or can we love twenty.

I hope it wasn’t love

If it was I don’t want it

I don’t want the memories that cycle through my mind

Always of you and I

The past isn’t so kind

The ache of wanting you can fly away

I hope it wasn’t love that burned through my soul and seared an imprint on my heart

Forever we are supposed to be apart

Why am I being so stupid I’m supposed to be smart

You come, you go, you don’t want me to stay yet you won’t let me go

I hope it wasn’t love that could be so cruel it’s supposed to be patient and kind

Feel something

Care

Don’t be empty

Don’t be numb

But that’s all dumb

I hope it wasn’t love.

I don’t have to hope….it wasn’t

Excerpt from a story

Something just changed in me that night, I haven’t felt like myself lately, and maybe it’s a good thing I’ve changed and I should just get used to it. It’s just that something doesn’t feel right about the way things are now. I feel like I’m in a crazy demented nightmare and I can’t wake up. Which is why I take unnecessary risks now because I don’t feel like any of it is real. I need to feel the exhilaration of being alive, and for me that is not the monotony of everyday life. I can’t be normal. I don’t see myself ever having the perfect family with a husband, two children and a white picket fence. I yearn for adventure. I want to test the limits of this life, of this body. My parents don’t understand this. ‘Be grateful’ they say ‘Be happy your alive’ they tell me. The thing they will never get is I am not fighting to die, I am fighting to stay alive. I could die at any minute just like they could and if I wanna do something I do it out of impulse there’s no thought or feeling of consequence anymore. Unlike them, my parents, I will not be safe, I will not be careful and wait for my life to be taken. It’s like I was half of a person before that day. A ghost. When I used to look in a mirror I didn’t see myself. My eyes seemed hollow like there was nothing left but one last secret. I can’t see myself being in a good position in this life, maybe I’m not willing to work hard enough or maybe I’m just not capable of making something out of what I got, or maybe I was never capable, or worthy in the first place. I do know this if I know nothing else I am alive today for a purpose if not I would have died in that crash.

Take me

Take me to my resting place

Take me to my grave

Set my soul on fire

Let it free of this cage

Make my mind infinite

Let my love soar

Tell those that I leave behind they can’t have it anymore 

Make my pain disappear 

Take the sin away

Give it all to me today

Open up my heart, drain the bad, pour in the good 

Lift me to non-existence 

Hold me there forever

I can’t stay here any longer

This life just gets harder

Take me to my resting place 

Take me to my grave

Pick me from this box of a world

I don’t belong here

It’s clear things won’t change they stay the same

Tame my thoughts, calm my body 

Take me to my resting place 

Take me to my grave

Raise me up in happiness

Carry me to perfection

Fly me to the never ending paradise

A place from here to infinity 

Smile at me ,bring me warmth ,never leave my side.

Take me to my resting place

Take me to my grave 

Fight the good fight

  
Life

A battlefield, don’t fight and you’ll die like the rest

Smile while you fight, always be your best

Before you run out of time

Look at the person in the mirror

Change her first

Make her the very best

Before you can change your world

You will be put to the test

It will be unfair

It won’t be just

Trust in yourself 

Run the race to make it to the finish line

There is a deadline, you’re running out of time

Be strong, smart, fast, and persistent 

Even then you may not go the distance

Throw in some kindness, throw in your heart, throw in some gratitude

Don’t bring anything to the table unless it’s a positive attitude

Give it your all, until nothing is what you’ve got

Fight the good fight

Outside looking in

I’m on the outside looking in. 
The girl who smiles, the one who laughs. 

The me who is everything I’m supposed to be

I don’t recognize her

She is a stranger

I’m on the outside looking in

Appearing content 

my vision is bent 

A funhouse mirror

I can’t see clear

I wonder if the world can see

I’m not who I pretend to be

Uncomfortable inside my body

Tight inside my skin

Pride won’t let me show the sadness beneath my grin

I’m on the outside looking in

Save me

  
Save me I’m falling to the ground

I would scream but I can’t make a sound

Save me I’m drowning in a sea of misery

I would swim but my body is too heavy

Save me my heart is breaking 

I would love but I can’t stop the aching

Watch as I fall

Watch as I drown

Watch as I break

I won’t make a sound

I won’t move, I won’t try, I can’t lie

There is no good in goodbye

Save me from this world

Save me from this pain 

If you don’t I swear I’ll go insane

Love me with my broken pieces 

Surely it can make me whole

Save me

Patch me up

Never let me go

Say you’ll always love me, so I’ll always know

Flickering lights

Flickering lights in the dark

One moment they’re here
The next they’re gone

At first so beautiful they seem

Flickering lights in the dark

Can’t help us find our way

All the dreams you’ve dreamed have gone away

The light looks so lovely

Like he distant stars far far away

No one can reach

But we try, try, try to stay

Keep reaching for the flickering lights in the dark

Sparkling and appealing to the eye

A journey we will take to reach the forbidden light of life

On and off they flicker

Mysterious in their ways

A trick on the heart

They can’t help you when you fall apart

Flickering lights in the dark

Stretch out your arm and see they will burn you to your very soul

They are untouchable and can’t possibly be but an illusion

A trap

A snare

Flickering lights in the dark

Lights fade

Lights dim

Lights out

Darkness……