Aside

Confetti

I am a balloon filled with confetti
The air is you
The confetti is my personal collection of feelings—
Hidden in this balloon
I just want to explode
To be torn open,
Rain down all I have
But I keep it together
I keep floating in the sky
Waiting for you to grab the string and pull me down from this high

I stay here full of hot air and scraps of paper
Pretending to be beautiful on my own
Being taken with your wind no matter which direction
There is nothing beautiful about colorful secrets and candy coated lies

Maybe the rest of the world deserves to see me
Waiting and patience have voided like the coupons that sit in my drawer
Useless
Or the days I’ve counted that turned into years
Wasted
No words spoken, only moments felt
But my goodness I still need you so I can breathe

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Aside

Good Girl

Her body is buried in your backyard

The dirt is caked under your fingernails

Your hands, razor blade sharp, held her heart

Blood still stains your incapable hands.

You owned her body while starving her soul,

Willfully ignoring her heart,

Abusing her fragile mind.

The bones cry out from the earth haunting you.

You murdered her word by word–

Kiss by kiss

You couldn’t get enough of this pain you inflicted.

Call it wicked.

The good girl is dead.

 

 

 

Aside

October

Summer used to be her favorite season. She loved the way the rays of light glistened off of her golden skin. The smell of the salty air and the way the days went on forever made her feel electric. But soon every summer day reminded her of missing him. The sun never felt the same, she didn’t feel warmth, she felt burned. And now she counted down the days to autumn when transformation occurred as the leaves changed and the sky darkened. She hoped that with the next season she too could be transformed to the person she was, before him. All she really wanted was a new beginning—a chance to shed the pain, the way trees shed their leaves in October.

Aside

Big Dipper

Her eyes sparkled in the moonlight as she told him she loved him for the very first time. Her eyes were the camera that captured his heart and soul the first time she blinked in his direction. The sky was clear and free of clouds as the big dipper sat above their heads, deep humidity caused her cheeks to glow like diamonds. She was the beginning and everything in between. He could tell she was unsure if he loved her back. Sure, he was no shower of emotions, but all his time was spent with her, or thinking about her. She had to know that, and he had committed his life to making sure she knew. He couldn’t tell her with words because he knew they would never even be a fraction of enough. He danced with her, kissed her, and held her hand like it was the missing piece of a puzzle that only fit with his. Now she’s gone, and he wished that the big dipper scooped them up from the ground that night, just the two of them floating amongst the stars, stuck in an infinite moment of love that time could never tear apart.

Aside

An Adventure

One of them was a comfort zone, a home I could rely on, keeping me stuck to the ground while my mind floated away. But my goodness the other one was an adventure. With him I saw it all from the tops of the highest mountains. I didn’t want to grow within him, as him, I wanted to grow because of him. Flowers never bloom without the rays of the sun, and with him I dared to step outside of all I’ve ever known.

Aside

Merry-go-round

You were all my merry-go-round; different animals stuck to the ground taking me for a ride that ultimately always left me in the same place. I am nowhere now, dizzy and confused. For some reason I can’t help but decide to get back on and take another ride. It’s like my life isn’t full and my heart is not complete until I’m stabbed one more time with the certainty of a most unpleasant goodbye. Take me around and around where my feet won’t touch the ground.

Aside

Wonderland

He always watched over her, silently– carefully. He couldn’t be with her now, and he couldn’t love her now. If he did then his body might explode and his head would be lost, because her eyes told of wonder and her body told of a long voyage he had yet to encounter.

He couldn’t love her, but he could watch her dance, and revel in her wide smile that hid a universe of words behind her teeth. He could drown forever in her wonderland, and wait for the perfect storm to dive right in. But only when the time was right, if it’d ever be.