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Fall Apart

You thought you were a rock, but you were in a billion pieces after you fell apart. Like particles of sand collectively gathered together by the ocean, people only saw you as the beach.

Perhaps, you needed to fall apart to realize that you never needed anyone to keep you together in the first place.

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Wildfire

The destruction caused by the wildfires in Southern California, the place I call home, are horrible. I am deeply saddened by all the destruction I see, and the ashes left behind of people’s homes, workplaces, etc.

It is almost a testament to how temporary things can be in this life. What is important is that we love and care for people, cherishing them above tangible material items. A house does not make a home. It is the people in it that do.

In my writing I have a tendency to compare life circumstances and people to natural disasters, because while they can cause so much destruction and ruin everything, they can also be beautiful learning experiences that we build from. We start over and over again from nothing and we continue to build, learn, and grow. What is more human than that? What is more beautiful?

 

Here is my short poem wildfire that reminds me of someone I used to know. Enjoy. Comment. Like. Subscribe.

 

Smoke fills the sky

Clogging my lungs

Blackening my heart

 I rummage through the destruction

Your name is written in embers underneath the ashes

You’re so beautiful as you burn straight through me

Ravaging all I have left

 

 

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December

I hate waking up when it’s cold
Isn’t everything cold when you’re alone?
The silence
The way you freeze your heart—
So, it won’t tell your brain to think about me

Freezing emotions is much like freezing a body of water
Not every part of the lake is solid
People can still fall in the cracks
Trapped under the ice
Never to come out

Winter reminds me of your eyes
And how inevitably everything dies
Only to grow again in spring
Maybe your coldness isn’t real
Just the absence of warmth
You’ve rotated too far away from the sun

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Magic

“I’m a tragedy” she said.

“I have yet to see anything beautiful that isn’t. Your story provides meaning and you wear it on your face with a delicate smile.”

He continued “Anyone can see you’re magic.”

“People don’t believe in magic” she says staring blankly past him.

“I do.”

He took her body into his folding her into his chest.

She could have heard him say “I do” a million times and her stomach would still drop each time his low voice rumbled in the dark.

He wasn’t her everything. Every other moment for her was numb, but his presence made her feel everything. The wind against the tiny hairs on her arms, the coolness of her breath as she spoke into the late-December air. Her heart beating fast and steady in her chest.

She didn’t need him every second, every minute, or every hour. Their connection was enough to last throughout distance, long silences, and all other loves they had yet to encounter.

That was the beauty of them, they never knew how to stop, and they never knew how to start.

It was all so endless. The most beautiful infinity I had ever seen.

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Tonight

And tonight I don’t want to think about the millions of ways we could’ve been everything to each other. Tonight I want to figure out how I can be everything to myself, while you fall asleep thinking of her. Missing her. Tonight I don’t want to think of the alternate dimension where you choose me.

Tonight I will accept that I cannot hold onto ghosts present in this version of reality.

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Hide & Seek

Don’t tell me you miss me. Tell me you read every one of my words while you were away. Tell me you found yourself there in the tiny spaces of the letters. Let me know how much they wounded you after you realized the truth about us. The only way to get through is to read between the lines. Because I’ve hidden away my heart for protection and it’s up to you to seek the treasure you wish to find. I’m done trading my worth for your lies. Go count your mistakes with your eyes closed. I’ll go hide and you seek, don’t peek.