Aside

The saddest sadness

Perhaps the saddest, sadness in the world isn’t being sad. Perhaps the saddest feeling in the world is the quiet lonely room in one’s heart, that is no longer surprised by the sadistic evils that pervert the purest things in this world like love. The saddest sadness is not in the feeling, it is in the accepting. Accepting that you can see the good in people who do things that make your nightmares seem insignificant in comparison. It is in accepting the fact that you cannot love people into changing into a better person. The saddest sadness is knowing that everyone can love and be loved in return, but many will choose to cling to the hate anyway.
Life does not seek to devour us. Life seeks to be lived, no matter what mountain there is to climb, no matter what knives stab us, no matter what humans hurt us. What is sad is also triumphant when we make the decision to move forward slaying our demons, but also loving our neighbors without reason.

Aside

An Adventure

One of them was a comfort zone, a home I could rely on, keeping me stuck to the ground while my mind floated away. But my goodness the other one was an adventure. With him I saw it all from the tops of the highest mountains. I didn’t want to grow within him, as him, I wanted to grow because of him. Flowers never bloom without the rays of the sun, and with him I dared to step outside of all I’ve ever known.

Aside

Ocean

People always equate helplessness to drowning
Not in a puddle or a pool
But in a universe of salty water
Waves ravenously swallow you whole as though you were never there at all
It’s the undertow of life we get stuck in
Drowning endlessly as the sun shimmers off of the blue water
The world continues to breath and rotate in the way it always has
Fire cannot accurately explain the way it feels to be okay with fading away
Maybe I am the ocean
And life is me

Aside

Merry-go-round

You were all my merry-go-round; different animals stuck to the ground taking me for a ride that ultimately always left me in the same place. I am nowhere now, dizzy and confused. For some reason I can’t help but decide to get back on and take another ride. It’s like my life isn’t full and my heart is not complete until I’m stabbed one more time with the certainty of a most unpleasant goodbye. Take me around and around where my feet won’t touch the ground.

Aside

Invisible

There is a girl who prefers to be invisible

She is perplexed by the pain of breaking over and over again

The liquid poured out of her cracks in rivers that flooded her room

An empty space in her mind that time couldn’t measure and fake love could never fill

Outside was too overwhelming

Every person she met was a black hole

They weaved their masks with all the same smiles adorned across their scarecrow mouths

 

She is an invisible observer

Such a broken individual who toils all day long to try and squeeze out of this translucent body that is but a mere carrying case for her fragile heart

Through her ocean eyes of depth I saw the fire

As the whole world burns hoping to be seen, she prefers to be invisible

Shrinking further back into herself before they strip all the clothes from her back and take all the love they lack

How could they ruin her if they can’t see her?

 

There’s a girl who prefers to be invisible

She hides in the shadows, and gets lost in the crowds

She is afraid that someday someone might actually see her and pull her closer to the warmth of the living sun

What will she do when all she’s hidden explodes into sparks that make firework explosions in the night sky?

There’s a girl that prefers to be invisible,

But because of him she steps into the light.