Aside

Good Girl

Her body is buried in your backyard

The dirt is caked under your fingernails

Your hands, razor blade sharp, held her heart

Blood still stains your incapable hands.

You owned her body while starving her soul,

Willfully ignoring her heart,

Abusing her fragile mind.

The bones cry out from the earth haunting you.

You murdered her word by word–

Kiss by kiss

You couldn’t get enough of this pain you inflicted.

Call it wicked.

The good girl is dead.

 

 

 

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Aside

Excerpt #3

“How could you just forget about me?” He said

“I kept telling myself you didn’t care and that you weren’t going to come back for me.”

“But that’s not true, I’m here now.” He said with a hint of desperation in his voice.

“Yes, you are. But as the months passed one by one, I never heard from you–not by phone, text, email, or even a letter.”

“I figured if one of my feelings of doubt was interrupted by your interference then you must love me, you must want me. But you never interfered so I chose to let you go the only way I knew how. I chose to believe that you once cared but I wasn’t enough for you to chase beyond your convenience.”

His eyes widened, and his mouth thinned into a straight line, but he said nothing.

I wasn’t sure why he came back to me every time, to someone he didn’t love, but now I realized that he came back to take what I had given him. The very love he lacked. He’d take my love with him time and again only to leave, perhaps to give it away to someone else he thought deserved it more.

Aside

Paper Crane

I made a paper crane out of snow

The paper crane could fly anywhere

But it would always return to the same spot above my head

Raining its anxieties on me

 

My feet are cinderblocks because I like the drops falling on me

I don’t dance in the storm though, I just get wet

The coldness of the ice freezes my heart numb

Numb—the absence of feeling

Somehow, I feel nothing and it is everything

 

If my heart is frozen then the blood in my veins is made of lava

And my mind is volcanic ash blown away in the wind

No, I can’t live stuck to the ground

But I still can’t move because my roots are planted here

I let the paper crane fly to bring back pieces of the world to where I stay

 

I am a divine collector of all things broken

I collected you

You whose words are liquid nitrogen

Familiar as where I sleep each night

It’s all messy, right? Here in the desolate arctic hollows of my heart?

You are the only broken thing I let the paper crane return

With you gone the snow turns to fire and I burn,

I burn.

Aside

Big Dipper

Her eyes sparkled in the moonlight as she told him she loved him for the very first time. Her eyes were the camera that captured his heart and soul the first time she blinked in his direction. The sky was clear and free of clouds as the big dipper sat above their heads, deep humidity caused her cheeks to glow like diamonds. She was the beginning and everything in between. He could tell she was unsure if he loved her back. Sure, he was no shower of emotions, but all his time was spent with her, or thinking about her. She had to know that, and he had committed his life to making sure she knew. He couldn’t tell her with words because he knew they would never even be a fraction of enough. He danced with her, kissed her, and held her hand like it was the missing piece of a puzzle that only fit with his. Now she’s gone, and he wished that the big dipper scooped them up from the ground that night, just the two of them floating amongst the stars, stuck in an infinite moment of love that time could never tear apart.

Aside

An Adventure

One of them was a comfort zone, a home I could rely on, keeping me stuck to the ground while my mind floated away. But my goodness the other one was an adventure. With him I saw it all from the tops of the highest mountains. I didn’t want to grow within him, as him, I wanted to grow because of him. Flowers never bloom without the rays of the sun, and with him I dared to step outside of all I’ve ever known.

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Merry-go-round

You were all my merry-go-round; different animals stuck to the ground taking me for a ride that ultimately always left me in the same place. I am nowhere now, dizzy and confused. For some reason I can’t help but decide to get back on and take another ride. It’s like my life isn’t full and my heart is not complete until I’m stabbed one more time with the certainty of a most unpleasant goodbye. Take me around and around where my feet won’t touch the ground.

Aside

Wonderland

He always watched over her, silently– carefully. He couldn’t be with her now, and he couldn’t love her now. If he did then his body might explode and his head would be lost, because her eyes told of wonder and her body told of a long voyage he had yet to encounter.

He couldn’t love her, but he could watch her dance, and revel in her wide smile that hid a universe of words behind her teeth. He could drown forever in her wonderland, and wait for the perfect storm to dive right in. But only when the time was right, if it’d ever be.