Aside

Rose-Colored Glasses

The glasses are off

I am no longer blind

I saw the solution in your eyes

The moment you knew it was wrong

And kept me holding on

This game is chess

And I am not the queen

Only a pawn

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Aside

December

I hate waking up when it’s cold
Isn’t everything cold when you’re alone?
The silence
The way you freeze your heart—
So, it won’t tell your brain to think about me

Freezing emotions is much like freezing a body of water
Not every part of the lake is solid
People can still fall in the cracks
Trapped under the ice
Never to come out

Winter reminds me of your eyes
And how inevitably everything dies
Only to grow again in spring
Maybe your coldness isn’t real
Just the absence of warmth
You’ve rotated too far away from the sun

Aside

Magic

“I’m a tragedy” she said.

“I have yet to see anything beautiful that isn’t. Your story provides meaning and you wear it on your face with a delicate smile.”

He continued “Anyone can see you’re magic.”

“People don’t believe in magic” she says staring blankly past him.

“I do.”

He took her body into his folding her into his chest.

She could have heard him say “I do” a million times and her stomach would still drop each time his low voice rumbled in the dark.

He wasn’t her everything. Every other moment for her was numb, but his presence made her feel everything. The wind against the tiny hairs on her arms, the coolness of her breath as she spoke into the late-December air. Her heart beating fast and steady in her chest.

She didn’t need him every second, every minute, or every hour. Their connection was enough to last throughout distance, long silences, and all other loves they had yet to encounter.

That was the beauty of them, they never knew how to stop, and they never knew how to start.

It was all so endless. The most beautiful infinity I had ever seen.

Aside

Tonight

And tonight I don’t want to think about the millions of ways we could’ve been everything to each other. Tonight I want to figure out how I can be everything to myself, while you fall asleep thinking of her. Missing her. Tonight I don’t want to think of the alternate dimension where you choose me.

Tonight I will accept that I cannot hold onto ghosts present in this version of reality.

Aside

Natural Disaster

The ocean is my favorite natural disaster

Deep and calm

A massive body of water sitting in a bowl

Blue planet in space

 

Only the ocean isn’t a disaster until it meets wind

I wasn’t a disaster until I crashed into him

Sleeping giant hurricane

If the earth shifts and shakes—tsunami

Enough power to make the highest walls fall

Fifty feet tall before I fell destroying it all

If I am the ocean surely, he is the wind making my waves

Something inside me stirs when he is near

 

His wind turns me into a category four

Still I want more…I always want more

Until infinity and beyond

Evaporation to precipitation

Water cycle

Oxygen to CO²

Me and you

Always close but never together–

Disastrous weather

 

Love is my favorite natural disaster.

 

Aside

Addicted to Lies

I am addicted to lies.

When I say I am addicted,

I mean I will crush them up and snort them with a dollar bill

For me they are no hard pill to swallow–

Comfortable and warm 

Like being snuggled in a fluffy blanket during a blizzard

 

Your lies were my absolute favorite

Strong and potent

Magic dragon

Purple haze

Lies seeped into my bloodstream

Keeping me in the sky for days

 

I greeted the sun and it talked back while I sat on that cotton candy cloud

Hallucinations

One more hit as my heart melted out of my body

Two more hits as my brain cells start to die

Three hits and there’s no turning back

Tunnel vision

 

When I say I am addicted I mean I hate reality

White powder rain, poof as you disappeared—withdrawal

All I have is empty space, nothing to lace with

My drug of choice turned its back on me

Leaving me with a bitter taste—truth

I can’t fall asleep knowing your lies are getting her high