You were all my merry-go-round; different animals stuck to the ground taking me for a ride that ultimately always left me in the same place. I am nowhere now, dizzy and confused. For some reason I can’t help but decide to get back on and take another ride. It’s like my life isn’t full and my heart is not complete until I’m stabbed one more time with the certainty of a most unpleasant goodbye. Take me around and around where my feet won’t touch the ground.
I am losing my balance
My mind won’t stay here
It keeps floating away day by day
Ready for my ride into the sky
But there are strings that bind me to the trunks of the trees
I can’t float away
The earth has grasped me tight
I’d rather be up there near the moon basking in its glowing light
Perhaps it’s too soon
Gravity smacks me down
Bringing me back to the ground
I plant my feet in the dirt
Ready to feel the hurt
It was 3am
The lights were dimmed
And the world was in silence
All I could hear was your voice
The words you spoke strummed the chords of my tired heart
My insides turned ’round,
When I thought I went from lost to found
Your words began to prick my skin
Shoving themselves deeper in
You knew your pride could never let me win
The only thing more deafening than your noise was the sound of your silence
The most cruel violence– I’d only ever be your 3am friend when the night came to an end
So the words hurt when you called me a friend
I must’ve made everything up again
The feelings were invalid
The poem you wrote wasn’t a ballad
What a hell love is when it is unrequited
I’ve tried, I’ve tried, I’ve tried to fight it
But your words were just too beautiful and your heart was just too true as it shone through the ink on the pages
“Friend” wasn’t the word that made me stop.
“No” wasn’t the word that calmed the fire.
It wasn’t a word.
It was the sound of your silence,
Where I found my answer.
You finally stopped growing on me like an immovable cancer.