Summer used to be her favorite season. She loved the way the rays of light glistened off of her golden skin. The smell of the salty air and the way the days went on forever made her feel electric. But soon every summer day reminded her of missing him. The sun never felt the same, she didn’t feel warmth, she felt burned. And now she counted down the days to autumn when transformation occurred as the leaves changed and the sky darkened. She hoped that with the next season she too could be transformed to the person she was, before him. All she really wanted was a new beginning—a chance to shed the pain, the way trees shed their leaves in October.
One of them was a comfort zone, a home I could rely on, keeping me stuck to the ground while my mind floated away. But my goodness the other one was an adventure. With him I saw it all from the tops of the highest mountains. I didn’t want to grow within him, as him, I wanted to grow because of him. Flowers never bloom without the rays of the sun, and with him I dared to step outside of all I’ve ever known.
People always equate helplessness to drowning
Not in a puddle or a pool
But in a universe of salty water
Waves ravenously swallow you whole as though you were never there at all
It’s the undertow of life we get stuck in
Drowning endlessly as the sun shimmers off of the blue water
The world continues to breath and rotate in the way it always has
Fire cannot accurately explain the way it feels to be okay with fading away
Maybe I am the ocean
And life is me